I have always thought I might have something because of the extent of my promiscuity. I knew the odds were in my favor. I'm heterosexual,don't use drugs, and always practice safe sex. And yet still I have always been under the assumption that I may have been infected. Recently I had been having symptoms similar to an HIV infection such as; night sweats,fever, and dry cough.
It has been a rather long drawn out process of mentally coping with the fact that I may indeed be infected. Finally I woke up early one morning after a sleepless night and decided to go and get tested. That drive to the clinic was one of the longest ever. No radio just dead silence, on my way to hear a confirmation of what I had feared for so long.I never felt so alone.When I entered the clinic (which is a clinic that primarily test for HIV and other STD's), I saw many individuals from many different walks of life. I was greeted by friendly and welcoming people. Their kindness only made me more terrified. But to make what I know could be a long story short, I tested negative.
Never in my life have I felt more gratitude and thankful for my spirituality. Moral of story-get tested and accept of the consequences of your decisions. A long series of bad choices put me on this path and gave certain suspicions. However this ordeal is something that has encouraged me to live my life as honest and responsible as possible. I have a new respect for people who get themselves tested especially if they know their engaging in risky behavior. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and accountability.
Many people don't want to know their status until their lying on their death bed. I was one of those individuals. Being positive is terrifying but it's a reality you'll eventually come face to face with or without getting tested. Anyways I'm out. Thanks for reading this ridiculously long paragraph and remember to play it safe.
It has been a rather long drawn out process of mentally coping with the fact that I may indeed be infected. Finally I woke up early one morning after a sleepless night and decided to go and get tested. That drive to the clinic was one of the longest ever. No radio just dead silence, on my way to hear a confirmation of what I had feared for so long.I never felt so alone.When I entered the clinic (which is a clinic that primarily test for HIV and other STD's), I saw many individuals from many different walks of life. I was greeted by friendly and welcoming people. Their kindness only made me more terrified. But to make what I know could be a long story short, I tested negative.
Never in my life have I felt more gratitude and thankful for my spirituality. Moral of story-get tested and accept of the consequences of your decisions. A long series of bad choices put me on this path and gave certain suspicions. However this ordeal is something that has encouraged me to live my life as honest and responsible as possible. I have a new respect for people who get themselves tested especially if they know their engaging in risky behavior. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and accountability.
Many people don't want to know their status until their lying on their death bed. I was one of those individuals. Being positive is terrifying but it's a reality you'll eventually come face to face with or without getting tested. Anyways I'm out. Thanks for reading this ridiculously long paragraph and remember to play it safe.